Been here a little over a month now...

and we've managed to avoid picking up a Texan accent! Woohoo! (Give it a few more months...)

I think I've been more homesick these last couple weeks. It's been difficult because I hate dealing with up and down emotions, or emotions in general for that matter. I contemplated flying to California for a short trip but then decided against it for now.. I need to stay here and just deal. Also I start work soon so I will give it some more time and figure out when I can come visit for a short weekend.

We're celebrating C's birthday today by having friends over for dinner and dessert. It should be fun.

Some good news is that C got a job! It's a little bit of a mixed reaction at this point so we just ask for continued prayers!

Well, I just wanted to be sure to update everyone...

I'll write more later.

Job news for me!

Well, last week I sent my resume to a local hospice agency. I had googled all the different hospice agencies in the area, but this specific one didn't come up. A friend from my NFP board told me to look into this specific hospice because she had seen it in the Texas Catholic magazine. I looked it up and unfortunately the website is rather plain and simple with very limited information. There was no job info but I took a chance and sent my resume to the email address listed on the website. I got a call back within 3 hours first wondering how I had heard of them and second wanting to schedule an interview.

I made sure to wear my lucky interview jacket (Thanks Janice!)... Janice went shopping for me over 3 years ago and brought home this great professional social worky suit and I have worn atleast the jacket part of it to every interview and I have always landed the job!

So I drove side streets to the office and it's approx. 9.3 miles from my house. It has a Dallas address but I definitely pass "Welcome to Farmers Branch" signs which I think is just a bordering town to Dallas? I don't know. I haven't quite figured it out yet. I filled out an application with as much info as I could recollect and just hoped that they would use my resume for info rather than the application. Oh, the other thing is there was a Noel St (or Dr.?) so that was pretty neat to see.

The interview process went well. There were 5 people interviewing me... I think if I had known that ahead of time I would have been *really* nervous but luckily I had no clue so I just rolled with it at the time and kept myself feeling at ease. So I was asked to provide information on my past hospice agency, on my responsibilities and caseload, and my experience and thoughts, etc. I thought maybe I overshared but candidly explaining challenges I experienced during my time there, but I figured that I was remaining true to myself and they would either like that or not. We also had to figure out terminology of Long term care facilities because they are all called different things in different places.. in California they are called Board and Care Homes, and here I think they are called Personal Care Homes. I wanted to make sure that we all had the same definition of what I was talking about. They had all sorts of questions for me, specifically they wanted to know more about my work with the Ombudsman which was so long ago!! It was during my time at UCSC.. it was essentially the start of my work. Then they gave me a scenario and wanted to know what I would do... I answered that to the best of my ability focusing on safety of the patient first, second on what my role is and then prioritized what, if anything needed to be addressed right then and there versus at my follow-up visit (all make-believe of course); they seemed very happy with my answer. I discussed conflict resolution, boundaries, teamwork, advocacy of patient and family, and the importance of self-care for myself and other team members.

They explained the responsibility of the job which in all honesty sounded pretty overwhelming. I thought I had shot myself in the foot when they told me how large the caseloads are because I had talked candidly about the challenges of carrying a highly acute caseload which was half of what they expect you to carry... plus the social worker helps with intake, they go to most, if not all deaths, there is an 8am daily staff meeting (8am!), they help with marketing by making contact within the medical community weekly, there is a rotating oncall, etc etc etc. I was a little bit scared but mainly only about the marketing contacts!! (well, okay and the 8am meetings.. yikes! maybe i'll become a coffee drinker?)

I left the interview feeling good about it but feeling conflicted too. How am I supposed to know if this is the right job for me? I essentially felt like I was challenging God because I wanted some very clear answers. I prayed and said, I think I am going to believe that if I am offered this job that I am supposed to be at this job, and if I don't get this job than it's just not where I am supposed to be right now. I felt like that maybe sounded convenient but you know what? Right now all I can do is just trust in God to lead me because I can't do it myself.

I do feel confident that hospice work is something I am called to do. I was just scared by the "other" responsibilities related to this job... what if I couldn't cut it? What if this job turned into a disaster and then what if I decided to leave it like my last job and then I would be a total and complete failure.. ugh.

The crazy thing is I have two voices.. one sane and one not so sane, one logical and one not so logical, one that can psychoanalyze me and one that is just plain psycho. So I know that I could do the job even with all the extra responsibilities and that I could very well be happy there since I would ultimately be working in hospice and that feels like my true calling (besides motherhood but well, that's just not happening yet). I know that my negative voices are just trying to distract me and make me question everything when I have to get my more positive, sane voices to exclaim the truth louder... okay now i am just sounding crazy.

At the interview they told me they were interviewing other people and would make a decision by Monday.

Anyways, so today I got a phone call. C and I had gone to the movies to spend some time together and when I got out of there I had a message from the hospice. The woman was calling to offer me the position and stated that they just loved me and really would love for me to join the team. I called her back and left a message.. she called me back shortly after. We discussed the details of the job, the benefits, etc.. I discussed some of my hesitations and she told me to please not worry about those things and not let those things determine whether I take the job or not..

I decided to accept the position!

I start next Monday-- C's birthday!

We are still waiting to hear about C's job leads... please continue to pray for us!

What have we been up to?

The weather in Texas is quite different and the funny thing is everyone who lives here keeps saying, "this is so unusual, this doesn't usually happen." Oh yeah? Why has it happened each time I've been here then? So basically it seems to get hot and humid for a few days (like 80-90's) and then all the sudden it's in the mid 30's the next day or two... there is no packing your winter clothes or your summer clothes because you need them ALL, all year long! And then these past few days it's been pouring rain in addition to being freaking freezing so our little grass area that we walk on to get to our cars has been flooded, plus the roads are just covered in water... I just keep praying that all our stuff that is UNINSURED still in storage isn't swimming in water. We really need to take care of that! Ugh! It's supposed to clear up over the weekend and go back to being hot and humid.

We've had some major vegging out time this week. I stayed in my robe all day long yesterday. We keep sleeping in until the early afternoon. Whoops! Oh well, we figure we will both be working soon and will get back to normal life soon enough.

We went out with friends on Wednesday night for Sushi. It was fun but pouring rain and we didn't realize it but we parked essentially 3 shopping centers over from the shopping center we needed to be in so by the time we reached the restaurant we were soaking wet! Like dripping. It was crazy.

But the sushi was great!

Then tonight we went to "bad movie night" with some friends and well, as the title of the evening said, we watched some really bad movies tonight! Haha they were AWFUL. I was a little prepared but I had no idea they were going to be *that* bad. Oh well. Regardless, it was fun!

Don't know what our plans are for this weekend besides some grocery shopping.. we're hosting St. Patty's day dinner next week. Should be fun.

I'm feeling a little homesick this week but I know it's just part of the process.. adjusting to a new place. I kinda keep forgetting that we just moved half way across the country.

Update Y'all later..

Well this is interesting...

So, guess what?

I quit my job today.

I decided that it was just not a good fit for me. It was a really difficult decision because I felt stupid and embarrassed to go in and quit my job after only 3 days but I knew it was the right thing to do. I also felt bad because C is unemployed and I didn't want to be putting us in a worse position by quitting and having us both not be working. I felt bad that I might be stressing C out more, but he fully supports my decision and knows that we will figure this all out and that God will continue to provide for us.

I think this has been a good learning experience for me. I purposely didn't apply for hospice when I first moved out here. I thought I needed/wanted to focus strictly on mental health issues but what I realized was that I already do that through hospice work! I also really like the broader scope of hospice social work. I have always felt that end of life work is sacred and I have really missed it during this last month. I knew I would eventually get back into hospice work in one way or another, and this experience has just made it that much clearer that that's where I am supposed to be. I really do love the work.

I have applied to various hospices and will keep you updated.

C and I both have a couple job leads.. we hope to update with good news later this week.

Back into the swing of things...

Well I had the opportunity to do some touristy things before my family went home.. We took the DART into Dallas and saw all the JFK stuff. First, the DART was really easy, affordable, overall clean, not very smelly, etc... pretty much the opposite of BART! We did have one interesting moment when a woman got on the train and my dad tried to make small conversation with her (commenting on the weather) and she didn't get what he was saying so it was awkward and weird and she sat down and threw a bag of McDonalds that someone had left on the seat and french fries went flying all over the place. So opposite of BART but similar in having weird things happen while on it.

The JFK museum, pictures, the story, the road, the grassy knoll, etc etc was all very interesting. I mean I obviously knew the story but I learned a few things that I never knew, plus some of the pictures were heartbreaking.

So, did I mention that on the day we went to Dallas it was in the low 30's? IT WAS FREEZING. The wind whipped you and made you want to die. Because atleast if you were dead you wouldn't be cold anymore. You know, that cold where all you can do is scream and yell to keep yourself going? Yeah. It was that cold.

In typical Autumn fashion I wasn't dressed appropriately for the weather. I had flip-flops on which presented quite a problem as the temperature continued to drop. I stopped at a CVS drug store and bought knock-off crocs that have this super warm fuzzy sock sewn into them... They saved the day!

And of course to continue typical Autumn fashion these very ugly, very cheap shoes have been on my feet ever since... I've even worn them to work! Haha. I laugh each morning I put them on because I can think of several people who would be horrified knowing I am wearing those shoes to work. Oh well. They are warm and they are comfortable (comfort being the key).

C was still sick over the weekend unfortunately so he wasn't able to join us.

I took my family to St. Jude's 5pm Youth Mass. It was overall a nice Mass. The priest seemed friendly and open. The music wasn't bad but the parts of Mass that are sung were surprisingly done in the very traditional way. I would have wished it to be a little bit different but I am willing to go back and check it out again. We might also try the 12noon Mass and see if we like that one. There are also a ton of other Catholic churches around here so we might check those out too.

On Monday we drove to Denton and went on a college campus tour of UNT... Micah is interested in their Music program so it was cool to go check it out with him. The school is pretty darn impressive with all the services and amenities that they offer for the price of tuition.

On Tuesday we drove my family to the airport and they flew back to California. It was a bittersweet moment. I think bittersweet is the word I'm looking for... Luckily I have been so darn busy since they left that it hasn't really hit me that I'm in Texas and they are all the way in California. I did look at plane tickets to get a sense of how much it would cost me to go home for a weekend... So back to bittersweet, we were talking with my parents and we figured out that essentially we had had visitors starting way back in November and pretty much nonstop through this past Tuesday! Haha. We had really been constantly with someone for the past 2 or 3 weeks though. Surprisingly I think we handled it beautifully. It didn't feel overwhelming or like it was too much. I think in fact that it really helped with us feeling more settled in and normal here. Thank you Micah and Ian (and mom and dad!)! So the bittersweet part comes in because now it's just me and C here at home... and it IS nice to have some time alone together but on the other hand... it's pretty quiet now. So back to adjusting, settling in, and adapting to all these changes........

Wednesday was my first day at work. Today was my second day and oh my goodness, tomorrow is my third day at work! I think I will like the direct interactions with clients but the paperwork makes me nervous. I am hoping with more time and experience I won't be so nervous, stressed, or intimidated by all of it. It's just something different than I did before and I want to make sure I do it right and that I uphold my ethics in the process. This whole idea of billable hours makes me nervous. I asked for a challenge and I certainly got one!! I've also been asked to work on a project already plus I have a busy schedule seeing clients so I am feeling a bit overwhelmed but I am assuming, hoping, praying that I will feel better about everything once I get the hang of things. Right? ..........sigh!

We already have quite the social life around here. I even put a calendar up on the refrigerator because we have so many things going on!

We are asking for prayers for Chris' job. We know there is the perfect job already waiting for him; we are just hoping and praying and asking that this job finds him (or he finds it) already! We're doing okay still but we will feel better once we're both employed and we finally get health insurance again.

Updates from last post:

• Time Warner cable finally sent out a tech that knew what he was doing-- he resolved all of our issues and we now have cable in both rooms. Woohoo!
• Remember my computer wasn't working? Well the hard drive crashed and I lost everything. yes we have an external hard drive; No I did not back up my computer because that would have made too much sense. UGH!
• My mom and I went shopping and I found some really great work clothes. Some nice classic pieces to work with. Yay!

Alright, that's all for now... email me if you have questions that I didn't answer.

Love you!!

A & C

Uh Oh, We're officially Texans!

There's no turning back now!

We officially handed in our California Driver Licenses for Texas ones! (which also means that for the next 30 days we have NO PHOTO ID'S!!!) What if something happened? What about cashing checks? What about flying on an airplane? What about simply having identification available? What about buying a drink? What about....

So the legal process of registering our cars and getting our licenses was semi-complicated... We started the process a few days ago. We went to the "DMV" Driver's License office (it's an office that deals with DL's only), we waited in line just to be told that we had to go and register our cars first. So we drove across town to that office only to be told that we had to have our cars inspected which was located back near where we had just come from... along the way we also realized we needed C's birth certificate for his driver license...

We got our cars inspected-- they both passed. $$$
Then today we went and registered our cars. We paid a "Welcome to Texas Tax" which was 4x the normal amount they charge to register a car. Thanks. Welcome to Texas. $$$$$ We got our license plates and now our cars are one digit from each other! kind of silly.
Then we went and got our drivers licenses. We ordered C's birth certificate and that arrived yesterday! yay! (This also means we are going to be applying for passports soon too!) We had to wait a long time in a room full of people. It was not fun.

The worst part of this is that Texas changed my name. I am upset that they would do this and it still makes utterly no sense to me. What?! How you might ask? Well, they said that they only have room for 3 names, and since I have 4 names (2 first names, 1 middle, 1 last) they would have to leave one of the names off of my license. I stared at them and said, well what do you want me to do? This is my legal name. That's my legal first name(s), my middle name and my last name. So the lady went and talked to the deputy in the office and he said I could use my first name (2 names) and last name, or I could use my first, first name, my middle name, and my last name. I'm irritated by it because it's not correct however they do it! I would think they would want the person's real, legal name, right? I mean, that's the point isn't it? So I ended up with my 2 first names and my last name.. although they put my 2nd first name in the middle name section which is totally incorrect! Ugh. I hate stupid things like that. They drive me *crazy*-- especially because it makes no sense whatsoever.

C got sick 2 days ago and he's been as sick as I was last week. Boooo! My folks and 2 bros are still here so unfortunately C has been in bed and hasn't been able to hang out with us. He's feeling a teeny tiny bit better, but since I just got over this same stupid sickness, I know he'll be down and out for a few more days. :-( Hopefully he'll recover quicker than I did!

We're still battling with Time Warner (which is essentially Comcast) and they are just awful. Terrible customer service, terrible service in general, blah blah blah. We've been having issues all week and everytime C calls, he's told one thing and then I call to follow-up and I am told the opposite of what C was told, and vice versa, blah blah... I don't even understand how it keeps happening except someone is just flat out lying to one of us. It is so weird.

My computer isn't working right now. Ugh. I have to take it in on Sunday. It just stopped working yesterday. So that is really difficult for me!! I want my computer!!

I need to go to the Mall. I am still looking for some work clothes and some shoes. I desperately need a few things!!

I continued to find my way around my new area. It's pretty cool.. things are coming together so well and I am getting my bearings pretty quickly.

We have some awesome food around here. C always told me about these places he used to go to while growing up (when he used to live here) and wow! they are so good! Taco Bueno is like way superior to Taco Bell, and WhataBurger is also pretty awesome. Rudy's BBQ is delicious-- especially their creamed corn. Kroger's cherry amaretto ice cream thing is delicious-- (THANKS MOM!!)

What else to say?

It doesn't seem quite real yet.. I mean, I know we're in Texas but the reality of how far away family and friends are.. well that part hasn't set in yet. I haven't figured out when we're going to be back in California,.. how often we can visit, and all that stuff.. so I am trying not to think about that just yet because it will freak me out!

Okay, have a good day y'all!

Settling in...

It's been less than a week and we're almost all unpacked, organized and moved in! We have 5-10% left to do. Woohoo!! I'm so proud of us. :-)

We have mainly stayed in our apartment this whole time minus a quick run to the store or cable company. We all got sick right when we arrived.. I am still recovering. It sucks. I lost my voice, have felt like crap, I'm coughing and coughing...

We found a grocery store that we like. It's Tom Thumb which is essentially the same exact store as Safeway. It's the same company, the same set-up, the same store!! It's definitely a comfort being able to walk into a grocery store and see familiar things. I am still missing Trader Joe's and haven't quite figured out what I'm going to do without it.. but I am sure we'll figure something out.

Our apartment is very cute. We are really happy with how things are coming together. It feels nice and familiar and "normal." The only thing I wish we had was maybe a second bedroom and a pantry in the kitchen. We were spoiled at our other apartment by having a second bedroom. I like it because guests have their own space, we have our own space, and we have a living area to share.. it's just more difficult to have the living area also be the area for guests to stay. It's not too bad, just one of those things that I miss. The kitchen pantry.. we didn't have one before, but some of the other apartments in this complex have kitchen pantries and I wanted one! We definitely could use the space... oh well.

There are so many good restaurants here! We are going to have to budget an "eating out" category just so we can explore the town! Yum!!